Christmas Vasectomy

by Purdy Holsom

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Based on a true story...

Ever gotten an angel tree leaflet for a family of ten?
I have.
The kids got toys.
The parents got condoms.


Christmas Vasectomy

I put an angel on the tree
I've only got one wish
There's mom and dad and nine plus me
And we weren't made in a dish
There's little food, we're scarce on rent
And Trump just became president
Santa I've got just one plee
Give Daddy a Christmas vasectomy

We can't sleep cause through the covers
We hear them at it like the Duggars
We've got no bed, we're scarcely fed
And Daddy won't settle for head
The ten of us, a struggle bus
For who can have a blanket
The slapping sound continues now
As Mommy gets her spanking
So Santa bring your reindeer cleets
And give Daddy a Christmas vasectomy

The hour is late, I hear a deer
Upon our leaking roof
I wonder if he got my wish
He'll give my daddy the hoof
My siblings wait for dawn to break, for Mom it is her water
I contemplate my Daddy's fate
The wish of a loving daughter

Now from the rear, comes Dad's drunk cheer
He's dressed like Old Saint Nick
He stumbles toward the crumbled mantle
Knocking loose a brick
And slipping now, my Pa falls down
The brick falls in his lap
A severed string of a delicate thing
He yowls upon his back
Oh Jesus, thank you for this tree
And daddy's Christmas vasectomy


released December 24, 2016




Purdy Holsom Durham, North Carolina

Singer-schlongbiter, rapper wrong-righter

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